Sexual Confidence

To be sexually confident - in the true sense and not in the overconfident and embarrassing sense - really means to be at home with our sexual selves. So this is not the type of ‘confidence’ that comes from knowing 100 techniques to create orgasm or being able to share body count with your friends - rather it’s about knowing ourselves intimately and understanding what it is we bring of ourselves to each of our erotic interactions in daily life.

Georgia Grace, author of ‘The Modern Guide to Sex’ (check out the ‘Resources’ section of this blog) lists a dozen attributes that she identifies in those who are truly sexually confident.

• I am comfortable in my body

• I am comfortable advocating for my body

• I have awareness of my wants, needs and desires

• I feel safe and grounded

• I am able to regulate my nervous system

• I feel comfortable when I look in the mirror

• I speak kindly and compassionately to my body

• I value my body for everything it does

• I feel worthy and deserving of pleasure

• I enjoy, value and prioritise sex

• I approach sex with playfulness and curiosity

• I see sex is an experience and not a performance

Our society tends to shy away from pretty much all of these attributes, which can make sexual confidence a relatively rare trait. But, to push against the norm and seek out these ways of being will take you on a fascinating and empowering journey.

Increasing sexual confidence is an intentional approach that involves feeling our way to our edges of comfort and then pushing a little to explore what lies just beyond this comfort zone. This may sound edgy - and it is so take it slowly and intentionally with care - and this is how we grow and mature into greater levels of confidence with our deepening eroticism.

All of the services I offer aim to increase sexual confidence, so choose whatever you feel is of interest to you and we can take it from there. In particular, Limits Exploration is specifically designed to probe our edges and see what lies just beyond…