Eroticism is Firstly About Ourselves

Understanding ourselves in our eroticism is empowering. For most of us, we are not educated in any depth or breadth about sexuality, eroticism and intimacy, and as a result pretty much all of our learning is self-taught. It’s no wonder we stumble occasionally and feel out of our depth or unsure of how to engage deeply. Often we’ll have some degree of conceptual understanding of what it means to be erotic in life, but what does it mean to say eroticism is about ourselves?

The interesting thing is, pretty much all practices engaging with eroticism start with self-pleasure. This is because it’s important to know our own bodies, to understand how response to touch emerges, and how arousal, orgasm and aftercare unfold in each of us. This self-knowledge contributes to the foundation of our eroticism. But more than this is the imagination, creativity and emotionality that reside within erotic desire and the way our entirety is encapsulated in our erotic expression. This richness makes our eroticism exceedingly self-referential, because it reveals all of us.

So eroticism is more than our self-pleasure, and also more that the pleasure we find in others, it is our totality of being displayed in our most open and intimate moments.

Eroticism is - first and foremost - totally about ourselves.

As a way of exploring, consider Giving and Receiving, Erotic Expression and Limits Exploration as ways to deepen your relationship to your eroticism.